Mark Sanford Suggests New Plank to Party Platform


by Karen Topakian

     Judging by the amount and frequency of infidelities’ confessed by Republican leaders, maybe they should just add an adultery plank to their party platform.

     This new plank, which could fit snugly between Preserving Traditional Marriage and Protecting Our Families. (Don’t be fooled by this title, it’s about the protecting the second amendment.)

To get them started I’ve provided some catchy titles: Freedom to F&%k, Ensuring Adultery, Upholding Betrayal or Protecting Deceitfulness.

            And when they get caught on tape, in the act or at the airport (dangerous places for adulterers; who could forget Larry Craig’s airport bathroom escapade and now Mark Sanford’s declaration of guilt), they could just explain that they were driven by a “passion for freedom.” (verbatim from the preamble to the GOP Platform)

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