The Five Best Inventions According to Dolores Garay

by Karen Topakian

My pal Dolores Garay rattled off this list of the five best inventions.

  • Printing press
  • Eyeglasses
  • Birth control
  • Tampons
  • Dishwasher

When I asked her to explain, she rolled her eyes, indicating that their inclusion should be intuitively obvious. Here’s my attempt to explain the obvious.

The eyeglasses allow you to read the small print describing how to use the birth control, which if working properly will require you to use tampons. The dishwasher saves you time that you can spend enjoying a happy, healthy sex life.

Hey Dolores, how did I do?