Thank you Daniel Ellsberg for Naming My Religion


by Karen Topakian

On a warm August 6th morning, Daniel Ellsberg stood next to Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory and publicly declared his religion as nonviolent resistance to nuclear weapons.

I too announced my commitment to this religion.

After his declaration, I participated in one of my religion’s annual rituals – commemorating the August 1945 nuclear bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki by joining a die-in at the gates to the Lab. (The Lab tests and designs nuclear weapons.)

My commitment to this August ritual started in 1982, when I protested at the entrance to the Pentagon and at the National Air and Space Museum next to the exact replica of “Little Boy” and “Fat Man,” the bombs dropped on Hiroshima on August 6 and Nagasaki on August 9, 1945. Thereafter in Rhode Island, I protested at Electric Boat, which manufactures Trident nuclear-armed submarines.

For more than 10 years, I have faithfully made a pilgrimage to this Lab to mark the moment that occurred long before I was born but has dominated the world ever since.

I claim these days as holy days to recall the horror the US unleashed on Japan and the world.

Holy days to reflect on the cascading events that have led to environmental destruction and loss of life.

Holy days to invigorate us to re-double our efforts to end this chapter in human history.

I hope in my lifetime my religion will no longer need practicing because we will have abolished all nuclear weapons. Until then, my religious practice will continue.

Tomorrow, I will visit a place


by Karen Topakian

I visit every year to commit an act I commit almost every year to mark an event that many have forgotten.

The U.S. bombing of Hiroshima, Japan on Aug 6, 1945.

I will go to Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory because the Lab is the place where the US government continues to test and design nuclear weapons.

Tomorrow, I will listen to Daniel Ellsberg and others speak at a rally. I will march to the Lab gates. Lie on the ground when my colleagues sound the alarm at the time the US dropped an atomic uranium bomb, 8:15 a.m.

While I lie there, I will think about the terror that this one bomb unleashed on the world. The wars fought over which countries may have one. The wars threatened against the countries that want to have one or may have one. The lives lost on all sides from the radiation poisoning, from the testing, the uranium mining…. The dollars spent  protecting, designing and testing nuclear weapons.

I will cry at some point as I contemplate the enormity of the problem. The ability for nuclear weapons to destroy all life forms.

And I will laugh at myself wondering how lying on hot pavement in Livermore, CA could change anything about this global nightmare.

But I will stay down on the pavement until the police come to take me away because in this moment, at this time, lying down to block the gate is what I must do to ensure I never forget. Humanity never forgets. And we abolish these weapons forever.

Nagasaki Day


by Karen Topakian

Today, on the 72nd Anniversary of the atomic bombing of Nagasaki, I walked to the gates at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory with a heavy heart.

Heavy because as Americans we find ourselves farther away from nuclear abolition then we have been in decades. Because on Tuesday, our president unleashed a harsh, aggressive, bullying statement putting the planet at risk – he threatened to rain nuclear war on North Korea.

Other presidents have threatened other nations with nuclear war, but none have done so with such fervor and with such a slim connection to reality and to the devastating effects nuclear war would have on all life forms.

My heart grew heavier as I approached the gates. For decades, I have come to the Lab either on either August 6th, Hiroshima Day or on the 9th, Nagasaki Day, to oppose the Lab’s testing and designs of nuclear weapons. On every other occasion, I’ve risked arrest by lying down in the road, blocking the gate. Stopping business as usual for these architects of death and destruction.

Today I couldn’t risk arrest because as part of a sentencing agreement I had promised a judge in Washington, DC that I would not get arrested for 6 months for any reason anywhere in the country. As part of my practice of, and commitment to, nonviolence, I needed to keep my promise.

On other days, when I’ve lain down on the hard road under the blazing sun, to create a die-in, a simulation of what life would be like if a nuclear weapon landed in our community, our state, our country, I’ve thought about those who have come before me. Those who risked arrest by committing acts of nonviolent civil disobedience to abolish slavery, oppose war, demand women’s right to vote and defend the rights of LGBTQ people and people of color. Today was different.

Today, I with others was responsible for my fellow activists. I had agreed to serve as a legal observer – to watch the police as they arrested people, count those taken into custody and ensure the police released everyone.

My heart grew lighter as I watched 47 brave men and women put their lives and their freedom on the line for what they believed and into the hands of law enforcement. I watched 47 brave women and men make August 9, 2017, a day when people said No to the Lab and Yes to a world without nuclear weapons.

These acts, these moments, these people lifted my heart and gave me hope.


Returning to the Scene of the Crime

by Karen Topakian


If I had a choice, I wouldn’t go to Livermore, California in August. It’s crazy hot.  And it’s scary dry.

But I don’t go to Livermore for the weather.

I go because nuclear weapons are created, developed and tested at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory.  I go in August to commemorate the dropping of the first atomic bomb in Hiroshima, Japan on August 6, 1945.

I go to risk arrest because I cannot stay home and let the anniversary of this event go unmarked. Go unnoticed.

Though Robert Oppenheimer and his gang developed and tested the atomic bombs dropped in Japan in New Mexico, Livermore Lab continues the legacy.

Plus Livermore flourishes in my backyard. My ‘hood. Staying away feels like I’m permitting them to conduct business as usual in my backyard.

And so I go to Livermore. To step in. To say no. To use my body against the further creation, production and testing of nuclear weapons.

The Lab and I have a long history. I’ve made this journey on this day and others, for more than 25 years, Sometimes wearing my Greenpeace campaigner hat, sometimes wearing my Western States Legal Foundation board member hat or my Agape Foundation executive director hat. This time, wearing my concerned citizen hat. Always with other nonviolent activists and people of faith, young and old, organized by Western States Legal Foundation, Tri-Valley CARES and other local anti-nuke organizations.

Under the baking mid-morning sun, I risk arrest lying on a hot black tar road at the entrance to the Lab’s West Gate. My body and my fellow protestors’ occupy the pavement.

The sun bears down on my back. On my arms. On my legs. I can feel sweat forming on my face. I don’t wipe the beads away. The smell of hot road fills my nostrils. Flies land on my hands. I don’t swat them away. I don’t move. I’m lying there, feigning death. In a mock die-in. To replicate the lives of those who fell on the streets of Hiroshima and Nagasaki on two August mornings when the US chose to unleash the unthinkable.

Fellow protestors outline our bodies in chalk on the pavement. Mimicking the effect of the Japanese people whose bodies, seared by the impact of the bomb, only left a shadow outline on the street.

A white piece of paper, proudly pinned to my chest, bears the name of Hiromu Morishita, a hibakusha, a survivor of the atomic bombing in Hiroshima. Mr. Morishita, president of the Senior High School Teachers’ Society and the Hiroshima Peace Education Institute in Japan, was one mile from the atomic bomb explosion, which severely scarred the left side of his face and blew off his ear.


I think about all the lives lost on that day. And about the lives of those lost most recently in the Middle East and in Eastern Europe. I don’t distinguish between innocent lives and the lives of the not so innocent. I’m saddened by my inability to stop those deaths or to stop these weapons.

Committed to nonviolence, I haven’t seen a war I’ve liked or supported. They all end in bloodshed, trauma and destruction. They weigh heavy on our souls. Making us small and inhumane.

Eventually an Alameda County Sheriff approaches me, tells me if I leave I won’t be arrested. If I stay I will be. I don’t move. I can’t. And still remain true to myself.

I rise from the ground when the officer tells me I’m under arrest. Escorted by an officer in camouflaged riot gear, I walk past the phalanx of heavily uniformed police. The officer asks for my ID, then handcuffs my hands behind me. One hand holds my California drivers license.


A female officer pats me down, looking for weapons, sharp objects. The only item in my pocket, a pin of Greenpeace’s ship, the Rainbow Warrior III. To remind me of one more reason why I am standing on the other side of the law.

Another officer helps me into a waiting van, already occupied by my fellow protestors. We introduce ourselves. Some I have known for decades. Others I meet for the first time. All friendly. All here for the same reason. The last person to join us, a nun in her 80s who attends religiously. We total 30.

The van drives a short distance; officers escort us out of the van into a warehouse, set up to handle the booking. Two women record the information on my license on two separate forms. I sign them both. I ink my thumbs for fingerprints. I receive a copy of my citation for blocking a roadway.

Since we are the last arrestees, the guards quickly escort us out the gate.

No officer asks us why we spent our morning remembering this day of horror for more than 200,000 Japanese people. But we all know why.

This wasn’t my first trip nor will it be my last to the scene of this crime.












I Still Love the Nevada Test Site!

by Karen Topakian

Peg and I are often asked how we met. We always say at Greenpeace. Which is true. But Peg was my hero before I ever met her. Or knew her name.

Here’s why.

In early April 1986, while driving my old gray Volvo to the San Francisco Art Institute where I was a graduate student, I was listening to the radio.

KALW was broadcasting a BBC report that members of Greenpeace had hiked through the desert at the Nevada Test Site and stopped the Mighty Oak underground nuclear weapon test by occupying ground zero.

Mighty Oak was not just your run of the mill nuclear weapons test. It was a test of defiance.  A global slap in the face.

President Gorbachev had recently announced a unilateral moratorium on nuclear weapons testing. He challenged President Reagan to join him in signing a treaty banning nuclear tests. Reagan responded by scheduling Mighty Oak.

Once the US government announced the schedule of the test, the anti-nuclear movement moved into high gear to stop it anyway it could. By lobbying. By protesting. Greenpeace chose to stop it, literally, by occupying the site.

Instantly, I wanted out of my car and art school and back into anti-nuke activism.  (An avocation I had left behind in RI to pursue a career as a fine arts filmmaker.)

I wanted to be one of those people. I wanted to hike through a hot dusty desert to stop one of the most egregious acts committed by our government – the design, production, and testing of nuclear weapons.

All day long, I thought about the audacity of the US and the bravery and courage of the Greenpeace members.  Their ability to stop the test, if only for a matter of hours, fueled my adrenaline.

Art school be damned. I wanted back into the world of activism.

Fast-forward 11 months to March 1987. Where my wish came true. Greenpeace hired me as a nuclear disarmament campaigner to work on the Nuclear Free Seas campaign. (Two months before I received my MFA.)

While at Greenpeace, I met and fell in love with Peg Stevenson.

One day in passing, she mentioned that she was one of the people. One of the people who had hiked through the Nevada Test Site desert in April 1986. To occupy ground zero. Peg Stevenson and her colleagues had stopped an underground nuclear weapon test.

Not only had I scored a dream job. But my girlfriend had been my hero before I even met her.

P.S. If you’re interested in reading about Greenpeace’s occupation of ground zero, check out Mike Roselle’s book, Tree Spiker. The book starts with this action.


How I spent Aug 9, Nagasaki Day

by Karen Topakian

While lying on the warm black pavement this morning. In front of a gate at Lawrence Livermore Laboratory. Where nuclear weapons are designed. On the 66th anniversary of the bombing of Nagasaki, Japan. I thought to myself “What if this were real?”

What if the air raid siren that one of our group had sounded was real? What if this weren’t a die-in? Not a mock death but a real one.

What if the unthinkable had happened?  What if the US were being attacked by a nuclear weapon?

What would I do? If the attack were real, I would be dead. Vaporized.

As I thought about the unthinkable, members of our group outlined our bodies in chalk. Signifying that I, we, had been there.

A few feet away, three Taiko drummers pounded a beat that mimicked the pumping of the human heart.

An officer from the Alameda County Sheriff’s Department interrupted my thoughts. He informed us four times that we would all be arrested if we didn’t move. We were blocking the road. Everyone listened. No one moved.

One by one the police arrested us all. Twenty in number. A nun, a Catholic priest, an attorney and activists from Western States Legal Foundation, Tri-Valley CARES and the Livermore Conversion Project. All charged with blocking the road.

Today wasn’t the first time I been arrested for opposing nuclear weapons. I’ve been bearing witness for close to 30 years.

Every year I wish it would be the last.  Every year I wish that the nuclear nations of the world would stop designing, building, testing and deploying nuclear weapons. And threatening others with their use.

But these governments won’t ever stop on their own. Not unless and until we make them. We, the citizens of the world, who oppose and abhor the spending of our resources and brainpower on weapons of mass destruction, must demand it.

That’s why I support Greenpeace and it’s 40-year history of opposing nuclear weapons.

Little Boy Made a Big Mess

August 6, 2009

Morning of August 6, 1945

Morning of August 6, 1945


by Karen Topakian

In a strong and clear voice, the habited nun read aloud one of our “Demands to Disarm” to the Livermore Lab Security Force and the Alameda County Sheriffs. I couldn’t tell if they were listening. It’s hard to see their eyes behind their tinted facemask and dark sunglasses.

Nineteen of us, including a woman with a walker and another in a wheel chair, took our places in the road at the West Gate of the Lab risking arrest.

I know that these uniformed men and women standing in formation have no more control over the activities of the Lawrence Livermore Weapons Lab than I do. But they were the public face of the Lab on August 6th.

A high holy day for the nuclear disarmament community.

Sixty-four years ago today, a United States B-29 bomber dropped “Little Boy,” a 9,700-pound uranium bomb, on Hiroshima, Japan at 8:15 a.m. killing as many as 140,000 people. Unleashing the nuclear age.

 And we were there to say we must disarm.