Lady Gaga, donating isn’t enough on World AIDS Day

by Karen Topakian

In honor of World AIDS day a number of celebrities are killing off their cyberselves to raise awareness about the lives lost to AIDS. Admirable. Though really who cares whether my Armenian sister Kim Kardashian is alive or not in cyberspace. But many do care about Alicia Keyes and Lady Gaga.

They want us to bring them back to life by raising a million dollars for Alicia Keyes’ organization, Keep a Child Alive.

I would ask that everyone who donates also do a few other things in addition to giving money. For starters, use a condom and practice safe sex every time they have sex. Advocate for sex education in schools. Not abstinence. Advocate for needle exchange not criminalizing IV drug users. Advocate in their houses of worship against discrimination of members of the LGBT community. Lobby the Vatican to endorse the use of condoms as a public health measure.

I’m sure you all could think of many more things we could all do to ensure that no one else contracts this disease that has taken the lives of too many. All because our government and religious institutions just can’t accept the fact that people have sex and deserve to be safe without feeling guilty when they do.

Papal condoms

by Karen Topakian

In light of the Pope’s recent statement condoning the use of condoms in certain circumstances, my sister thought they could start marketing and endorsing their own brand.  To make a little extra money on the side. Here are a few possible names of Pope approved condoms.  Send me yours.

Religious rubbers

Roman rubbers

Consecrated condoms

Pontiff Prophylactics

Revered rough rides

Sanctified safeties

Papal protection